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Posts Tagged ‘writing jokes’

Why did the writer cross the road?

Because she was driven.

Yes, today we’re going to lighten things up a bit with some literary humor. I strove for variety and, of course, things that made me chuckle. Please feel free to share your own writing jokes below in the COMMENTS section.

Enjoy!

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A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell and decided to check out each place first. As she descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.

“Oh my,” said the writer. “Let me see heaven now.”

A few moments later, she ascended into heaven and saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.

“Wait a minute,” said the writer. “This is just as bad as hell!”

“Oh no, it’s not,” replied an unseen voice. “Here, your work gets published.”

How many screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why does it *have* to be changed?

Punctuation Parable

Dear Rhet,

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy – will you let me be yours?

Scarlett

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Dear Mr. Darcy,

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Yours,

Elizabeth

Charles Dickens: Please, sir, I’d like a martini.

Bartender: Sure thing. Olive or twist?

Make some time to laugh every day! It unleashes the creativity and helps you feel wonderful! Oh, and it burns lots of calories, too!

Laura

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We welcome and encourage your thoughtful, courteous comments below.

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